The Tongue Does Not Eat, But Bites

We know that the tongue does not eat, but it is undoubtedly capable of biting. Sometimes he does it with words, sometimes with tone, often with those cowardly phrases that pass from mouth to mouth and are always spoken from behind. Because whoever has a shortage of heart compensates with the language, always so agile, always so willing to explain his art.

It is curious that, although speech is the language of the brain and the result of our evolution as a species, we are perfectly capable of using it to cause pain. This competence of ours, as refined and subtle as our emotional world, has not yet reached the right level of empathy  and delicacy. It has not yet made us people able to live together and not to raise barricades using confusion, verbal aggression or contempt.

We all know that the tongue is capable of hurting with the same intensity as sticks and stones. There is little doubt that human beings have evolved in a surprising way. Nowadays we are sophisticated, skilled, adaptable and predisposed to survive in a much more changing and demanding environment than that of our predecessors. Yet, there are several aspects that force us to reflect, to make a small examination of conscience.

It’s been a few years now since we’ve taken another leap in the evolution of our species. We have opened the doors to the digital age. Be careful, however, because in addition to strengthening the connection between man and his fellows, new technologies often also produce the exact opposite.

In this digital scenario, the language manages to find a state of anonymity where it can proliferate, a space where it can cause damage through the word (only 140 characters are enough). Wounds that can sometimes lead to very serious consequences and in which individual responsibility takes on blurred contours.

Why do we do it? Why do we “bite with our tongue” to the point of destroying the lives of others?

The word that hurts: a real pain

There are times when we are consumed with anger. When the tension of the moment makes us say aloud the least appropriate word, the word that is capable of breaking the heart of the person in front of us and whom we love. Because you know, it is better to choose silence in a moment of tension, rather than spend the rest of your life regretting what has been said.

What we mean is that everyone, absolutely everyone, has this power. The power to harm using the language, through the word. It is also good to specify that when we speak of “evil”, we do not do it in a metaphorical sense. Because the emotional pain caused through language is real, it is authentic and can have real feedback through neuro-imaging techniques.

The pain that nobody sees, the invisible wound of our society

The Department of Neurology at the University of Los Angeles has made an interesting study that has brought to light several phenomena. Words full of contempt, as well as criticism or intolerance towards noises, activate the so-called “natural network of social rejection” in the person.

The activity of the brain changes and one remains suspended in a state of “disconnection”, in an emotional limbo that oscillates between anger and depression.

Similarly, another aspect that emerged from the study is that verbal aggression produces deeper and more lasting effects than physical abuse. It is an event that can affect even a child’s development. In fact, elements such as intimidation or verbal abuse that many school-age adolescents suffer  are linked to the white matter of the brain and the hippocampus, the structure that manages memory and emotions.

Stop and think: your tongue is a relentless weapon

We know that the language hurts, yet few medicines are as good as a wise word, such as the voice that comforts, the gaze that consoles, the ear that listens and the language that knows how to connect to its fellowmen through the heart. Despite this, why does it cost us so much to put these simple actions into practice?

• First, because not everyone has the strategies and skills to do it. In fact, there are several studies that reveal that children who “threaten” and who use bullying against their peers have serious emotional and even mental problems.

• Many of them see aggression as a form of power. This way of behaving is their only strategy to assert themselves in a personal context characterized by instability and the lack of a respectful and empathic education.
  

• On the other hand, c hi is guided by the agility of their voracious language is incapable of filtering the thoughts that occur in his mind. It is there that the contours must be filed, in order to first activate the button of emotional management and self-control.

• We live in a society where language has its own audience and many channels through which to express itself. In fact, at times, it tends to focus on a specific group of people or an individual belonging to a minority. We don’t have to fall into this “white sheep against black sheep” dynamic, but rather be able to become entities capable of autonomous thinking.

Language, in the end, is nothing more than the main tool used by the brain. If we allow it to act alone, reason will not give it a voice. It will be ignorance to offer her the right intonation and our most primitive instincts to give her the poison to do harm.

It is not worth it . Before speaking or writing on social networks, wait and observe. Be cautious. Because sometimes, silence is preferable to any word you may regret later on.