Talking About Your Feelings With Others Is Therapeutic

When we are together with other people, we sometimes hide our feelings. We are ashamed of having emotions that we consider negative and that we mistakenly believe make us appear weak in the eyes of others. We want at all costs to be strong on an emotional level, trying not to be touched by anything or anyone, and proposing the image of a “mature and rational person”.

The truth is, applying rational thinking in an effort to be more mature each day is wonderful. In the first place, for ourselves, that thanks to practice we will be able to download a whole series of unnecessary sorrows. Secondly, in improving relationships with others, because by not exaggerating, knowing how to manage emotions adequately and behaving in a functional and sensible way, the environment around us will also improve.

This does not mean that you stop feeling human : in your life it is inevitable to feel unhappy, anxious or short-tempered more times than we would like to be. Consequently, since it is a natural thing, what we can do is normalize this situation, without hiding and accepting ourselves. Of course, always in moderation: even if talking to others about our feelings is therapeutic, exaggerating may not work in our favor.

Why is it good to talk about your feelings?

Whether it’s negative or positive, sharing them with others is always good. In the case of positive feelings, because it magnifies them making us feel in celebration. Who wouldn’t want to tell their partner they got a job promotion?

However, there are also times when we find ourselves sharing negative thoughts. In this case, the first advantage is that, in exposing our feeling, we avoid running away from it and therefore increase the chances of taking on the responsibilities necessary to face it. At the same time, in exposing ourselves we will allow the negative emotion to subside. By talking about our negative feeling, we can explore our situation from other points of view, often less pessimistic than we think.

When we try to erase an emotion as if it were a sentence written in pencil on a simple sheet of paper, what we actually trigger is the increase of the emotion itself. We tell ourselves that we shouldn’t feel that way and this need only adds to the pressure. The consequence is an increase in our state of anxiety and malaise, which will lead to an inevitable increase in negative emotion.

On the other hand, talking about our emotions improves relationships. In fact, we allow the listener to feel like our confidant, someone to whom we have decided to give our trust, showing appreciation and affection towards him, and making him feel an active part of our life.

Two heads are always better than one. What we mean is that by talking about your problems or talking about how you feel with other people,  it will probably be easier to find a solution that gives you relief. Sometimes we feel so low that we can’t see what others are able to see without effort.

When to talk about your feelings with others?

Whenever you feel a burden within you, a block that does not allow you to think clearly and even less to act effectively, you should share it. You can do it with your best friend, a parent or a psychologist. Whoever the person is, the suggestion is not to keep the feeling just for you.

For example, when our partner does something we don’t like. Instead of getting angry with everything inside, isn’t it better to tell him how we feel? If we don’t, we will end up accumulating anger until our way of expressing what we feel is no longer adequate.

First of all, always try to be responsible for your feelings. Formulate a sentence that begins with “I feel…”, followed by your reasons, ending with an acceptance of the other person’s point of view.

We can also share what is happening to us with people who have nothing to do with the problem, such as a friend. He will be able to give us his point of view, helping us to find a solution. In this case, however, do not stoop to criticizing other people, because doing so would have the opposite effect: increase your negativity.

Since humans tend to be empathetic, others are unlikely to reject you because you are bad. If that happens, however, it’s not your problem and means absolutely nothing. Remember that talking about problems and emotions is not only good for you, but also those around you will benefit from your trust and strengthen the bond they have with you.