Stop Negative Experiences From Controlling Your Life
Your life is a continuous succession of experiences that you feel, share and feel, regardless of whether they are positive or negative.
Obviously, negative experiences are the ones that affect you the most. Well, your natural state, in which you are happiest, is when all is well, when you have “the wind in your back”, and you are almost unaware of the passage of time and of your existence.
However, negative experiences are necessary: they can help you to walk along the path of life, to learn to make better choices, to know how to distinguish between what you want and what you don’t want.
In short, every experience, but especially the negative ones, helps you to be better people. But what happens when things don’t go like this? What happens when these experiences control your life?
When experiences control you
Surely at this moment you are thinking that the negative experiences you live, instead of improving your life, make it worse. What does this mean? That affect you.
For example, consider the following situations; you have probably already experienced more than one:
- If someone publicly humiliates me because of a comment I made, I will avoid saying what I think, so that it does not happen again.
- If my partner accuses me of being responsible for our breakup, I will probably act with caution and submission in the next relationship.
- I always try to think the same way other people think, so that people don’t look at me wrong and accept me.
These and other situations cause something very natural: the pursuit of pleasure and the attempt to avoid the pain caused by any negative experience.
However, sometimes this fear of finding yourself helpless in the face of an unexpected and threatening situation leads you to wear a mask, which does nothing but hide what you cannot solve.
The masks do not allow you to show yourself how you are and, instead of helping you to deal with the problem, they magnify the wound of your pain.
In your life, you are in charge
Even if negative experiences hurt and affect you intensely, you must avoid having them control and direct your life.
Only you can decide how to carry out your life, how you want to act, how you prefer to proceed. Experiences must move you forward, improve, and never retreat. Furthermore, these must never cause your unhappiness.
How to deal with negative experiences?
- Never be ashamed of yourself, never blame yourself for things you have no responsibility for. What happened remains in the past; now is the time to face the present with confidence and positivity.
- Do not allow your feelings to drag you and sink you into a sadness that will be difficult for you to get out of. Feel them, but don’t let them overwhelm you like a hurricane. Say “enough” and move on.
- Don’t get carried away by your thoughts, as these will spin around in your head for a long time and leave you confused and paralyzed in the face of the situation. Put a stop to these thoughts and start taking action.
- You actively choose in your life, you have to decide how to live it, you have to be the one to avoid the negative experiences that would force you to change your path.
Undoubtedly, negative experiences cause insecurity, doubt, malaise and sadness; nevertheless, all of this can be overcome and only you have the power to do so.
If you want to get out of this situation, you have to start struggling with those feelings that try to drag and dominate you like a strong current. Avoid confused thoughts that only paralyze you and focus seriously on what you want.
Nobody tells you that you don’t have to feel insecurity, assimilate it and live it. However, it cannot control you.
Take negative experiences as situations to learn from. There is no evil that is not also good. A good that only you can find, that only you decide to experience.
