I Learned To Say “yes ” Without Fear And “no ” Without Guilt

I did it. I live without fear and without shame, now I have no qualms in telling you that in your square meter you can do what you want, but in mine I want respect. I say “no” without feeling guilty to those who bring a storm in my happy days and I say “yes” to my life, to my desires and, of course, to my dignity.

Self-assertion without attacking is an attitude that not everyone knows how to assume. Sometimes pride is confused with selfishness or self-affirmation with the imposition of one’s values. Well, saying “yes” without fear and “no” without guilt is much more than a necessary exercise in mental hygiene and survival.

I dress as I want, I come and go as I please and like it, when I deem it necessary. It is a long time since I learned to live without fear, to say “no” without feeling guilty and “yes” when I feel like saying it, because even if my heart has the door open for those who want to enter, there is also another wide open for those who intend to go out.

In our daily life we ​​often meet the same type of people. On the one hand, there are those who want to make a good impression on everyone, who always has a ready and devoted “yes” on their lips. On the other hand, there are those who are always irritated, they are the ones who spend time saying “no one has the right to tell me what to do”, or “I don’t owe you anything, so get away from me”.

Extremes are never positive, because the secret of a respectful and wise existence lies in the center of self-affirmation without violence and without excessive permeability, the one that leads us to become servants of others to please others. To get along.

With this article, we invite you to reflect on the subject.

Saying “yes” without fear: a person’s self-affirmation

When we are little, no one teaches us what self-esteem is. Depending on our education and the experience we accumulate throughout childhood and adolescence, we develop a certain self-esteem pattern to survive.

True trials of fire come with time. They are complex moments for which no one is ready, moments in which to test our fears, our bare parts and our courage in order to adapt to this terribly harsh world. These are moments in which neither huge nor small egos are functional or happy.

Saying “yes” without fear, but with respect, to each of our aspirations and needs is a vital need. Many, for example, are educated in the name of personal exhaustion: they are told that one must please others to gain their approval and establish oneself as a person. In these cases, dignity is locked up in the dungeons of fear and the purest indecision.

At the same time, it also often happens to drown and keep silent desires and wills for fear of being punished or rejected by those around us, we are afraid to see the disappointment painted on their faces. We end up limiting ourselves, evading the legitimacy of having a say, of breathing and, simply, of being people capable of saying yes when life tells us to live.

Say “no” without guilt, live with congruence

Whatever many people think, it shouldn’t take your whole life to accept yourself. Self-acceptance, as well as self-esteem, should be a mandatory sport to be practiced from childhood. It should be a healing and liberating religion, thanks to which we can believe in ourselves and in our abilities, and then respect ourselves and respect others.

Living without the fear of saying “yes” and without remorse for saying “no” means living with congruence, giving genuine and full respect to one’s self-esteem and to those around us.

We suggest you keep the following points in mind to learn how to say “no” whenever you feel the need, without any sense of guilt.

How to be assertive without remorse

Self-assertion without attacking is an art that we must achieve with elegance, but also with deadly precision. Nothing we say must lead to misunderstandings, every word must define us and shape our needs, our vital desires and our unbreakable limitations.

• Saying “no” when others expected a “yes” from you is not a betrayal.

  It means self-affirming according to your position, so that others can act accordingly, knowing you better as a person.

• Saying “no” in time can save lives, especially yours

  . It saves you from situations that would have thrown you into the cyclone of unhappiness, between the clutches of selfish impositions and suffering from which everyone must defend themselves.

• The “no” must be said immediately, without fear and without any shame

  . Those who love you will accept it with respect, indeed, they will not even be surprised, because they know you. On the other hand, those who resist or feel betrayed have only two options: accept you or step out of the back door of your heart.

To conclude, it is simply a matter of being authentic and letting go of the veil of shame. Because happiness lies beyond the line of fear, that fear that must be overcome with courage, head held high, with eyes wide open and a happy heart.