We Forgot To Part Our Hearts Before Our Hands

We forgot to take our hearts off before taking our hands off. We have forgotten to understand that it is difficult to push away the people we love most without hurting them. We have forgotten that we are no longer walking together, but separated, and that addiction, pain, reproaches and monotony have overwhelmed us and, above all, changed us. Neither of them sees the same reflection in the mirror as they used to be.

The parting of our hands tastes like goodbye, but we have broken up so many times that our hearts have decided it was always the same: period and then head again. Separating hearts before separating hands, recognizing that we no longer love each other are very different and often simpler things than not letting the heart beat faster when we are with our partner.

We forgot to give ourselves space, to take a breath of fresh air, to enjoy our ego the same way we were building the We. We have forgotten that to love does not mean to depend and now we do not know how to do anything but be together and hate each other, because our hearts cannot beat separately.

We forgot to love each other

We forgot to love each other and so we decided it was time to part ways. But what we said in words was not exactly a reflection of what we felt in our soul; for this, the grudge has made its way between my bowels and started to cut them into small pieces.

We have forgotten that we are ourselves, we have turned into two hateful strangers and now we do nothing but hurt ourselves. We feel alone and betrayed, we feel empty and unable to live without someone close to us.

But most of all, we forgot to forget and acknowledge that it was not the “we” we loved. We loved the love we were imagining, but it wasn’t real. It was just an illusion that we built while daydreaming.

We forgot we were and started to depend

We forgot we were and started to depend on each other, as if there was no life beyond the idealization of each other’s embraces. We began to be afraid of contradicting ourselves and we silenced our voices for fear that a single word could break our idyllic bond.

We stopped loving ourselves to love the other more, until we diluted ourselves and got lost in an “we” that was already losing its sense of existing. Our story stopped being love to become fear of losing the other, then it stopped being fear to become hate, because it was now impossible to love each other without stealing our identity.

It was then when we stopped respecting ourselves, when we realized that our love was no longer love, but an asphyxiating bond that hurt us deeply.

We decided to stop depending on each other and take our hands off, but it was already too late, because our hearts did not understand the pain of stopping seeing each other and continued to keep tied. Addiction had reduced us to ashes and we were no longer able to be who we were before we knew each other.

We had to learn to love ourselves

So, after what we have lived, we have had to relearn to love ourselves. We had to accept the pain we had voluntarily inflicted on ourselves due to the fear of being alone.

We began to recognize that we had deliberately lost our identity and that there were no other culprits besides us and our need to bond with someone at any cost. We understand that, in matters of love, we must never stop being ourselves. And then, finally, we were able to say goodbye.