I Will Always Be The Hero Of My Story, Not The Victim

There always comes that moment when, finally, we decide to take the plunge. In which we decide to be the protagonists and not the victims, in which we give a change to the show that is our life to design, with courage and audacity, our reality: there where there is no room for humiliations, nor for blackmail, nor for offenses.

On many occasions, the word “victim” implies a disrespectful connotation. There are those who define this profile as a person characterized by a passive attitude that limits itself to blaming others for what happens to her or what she herself causes to happen. Despite this, “victimhood” has nothing to do with “real victims”. These are two completely opposite aspects that one must know how to distinguish, with respect and with the right sensitivity.

Many of us have been the victims of a person or a certain circumstance at a specific time in their lives. Injustices exist in the public sphere but, above all, in private spaces. It doesn’t matter how respectful we are, if we are just children, if we have a high social status or if we carry a lot of experience on our shoulders.

Life strikes when it wants. And, for a while, we will be: victims of deception, an accident, hypocrisy, a bad reaction, our own decisions or any dark cloud that decides to plant itself right above our hearts.

It is not always possible for us to control the threads of destiny. Despite this, it is in our power to choose the best answer to leave the victim behind and become the hero or heroine of our own story.

The separate “I” that builds the victim

A victim does not always choose his own position and his will is not always enough to get him out of that personal and psychological prison. Let’s see an example to better understand this concept. Elena (a made up name) is 18 and dreams of starting to study Law in Bucharest, Romania. Despite this, due to economic and especially family problems, he already knows that it will be very difficult. One day, this complex situation pushes her to accept a job offer.

She sees an ad looking for maids in Spain. The salary is good and, if he can save enough, he can start his studies after a while. Without thinking twice, he decides to take this step. Despite this, that decision which, at the beginning, was a pure act of courage, after a few days turns into the worst choice of his life.

Elena becomes yet another victim of human trafficking. When he arrives in Spain, he realizes he has no choice but to prostitute himself to finish paying for his trip. In this way, she ends up missing her land of modest dreams and equally unjust realities, such as those that exist in the country where she arrived.

When, finally, a social organization helps her to get away from this world, Elena still continues to be a victim. It is for a very simple reason: it has built a separate “I” with which it now identifies. This identity no longer trusts people, it blames itself for what happened and feels it has no control over anything, anything that surrounds it.

It is so conditioned that, by now, it has no present, nor does it conceive the idea of ​​a future. The identity of the victim has taken possession of everything that, once, was Elena. Despite this, Elena can “rebuild” to go back to being herself. To be the person you want to be.

Repair identities, heal wounds and become heroes

The story we have just told you is an example that reflects many realities experienced by both men and women every day. Mediators and experts in this type of personal reconstruction process explain that we are faced with a wound that does not always heal. Nonetheless, victims can reintegrate that “separate self” with their own identity as they find a purpose in life. An alternative, a sense.

You can be whatever you want. You can be the person you set out to be , they explain. However, in order to become a hero or heroine, it is necessary to put aside the victim identity. Break the conditionings and re-emerge with a strong purpose: to start being happy again.

Strategies for moving forward by putting aside the victim identity

Everyone has faced or is facing personal circumstances that plunged them into that vulnerable situation. The last thing we need to do is blame them or address them with phrases like “he wanted it when he started that relationship” or “things like that always happen to you because you have no character.”

• A victim does not choose to be.

  A victim not only struggles to escape from an external factor that causes them pain, but also leads an internal battle in which their self-esteem is shattered.

• People who have been injured cannot, overnight, re-emerge from their personal abysses.

  It is a slow, fragmented and delicate process of identity reconstruction, in which they need to regain confidence. Self-confidence and confidence in the environment around them.

• Whoever is the victim of a certain circumstance, regardless of what it is, has in mind the idea that there is no way out

  . The moment he abandons this attitude and undertakes a process of authentic and intimate accompaniment and support, then that victim will understand that there are alternative ways. Other options that could change its reality.

To conclude, life can hurt us when it likes, and we will be, we will be victims for a certain period of time, but only as long as our inner strength says enough. Only until we take the reins and decide to become the architects of our reality to create new horizons by wearing the role of authentic heroes.