Intransigent People: Having A Closed Mind

Stubborn, closed … We could define uncompromising people in many ways, but perhaps most of us would classify them as “closed-minded”. Regardless of the accuracy of the definitions, we know for sure that it is very difficult to live with those who usually adhere only to their own point of view and do not know how to listen or take others into consideration.

Are we facing a disease? Obviously not. Is it a mental disorder? Neither. It is clear that we cannot label simple personality traits as clinical conditions.

There are ways of being, of conceiving the world and of behaving that can be problematic and this is where the challenge comes into play: living with someone who has a multi-faceted character and personality.

The curious thing is that we don’t have many studies on these profiles. Indeed, we could say that there is too much hearsay and little real information. Also for this reason it is interesting to enter the singular labyrinth of those who adhere to such a marked cognitive conservatism.

What are uncompromising people like?

Before starting to analyze this profile, it is worth clarifying one aspect: we all have the right to be uncompromising about what we do not like or what does not correspond to our values. Doing it with respect and assertiveness is part of the most basic repertoire of our social skills.

However, it is important not to make this defensive exercise a constant in one’s conduct. 

Intransigent people never compromise. They take a persistent attitude of opposition, love conflict, are obsessed with their own beliefs and affirm them with aggression and stubbornness.

While we don’t have many studies on this profile from personality psychology, one area has shown particular interest in uncompromising people. We refer to social psychology, which has always tried to investigate the mechanisms of resistance to change (Zuwerink and Devine, 1996).

What drives a person to refuse to change positions in order to reach an agreement? Why are some not able to consider other arguments besides their own, even if they are equally valid? A study from the Rey Juan Carlos University of Madrid tried to answer these questions.

Characteristics of uncompromising people

We have all confronted at least once with someone with whom it was very difficult to talk or reach an agreement.

Maybe a co-worker, friends, neighbors and even relatives. What is the cause of this stubbornness that leads to selfishness? 

• Cognitive intransigence is characterized by the inability to change your mind. Still, this skill is critical to learning and improving by integrating new knowledge.

• Psychological reactance is another factor of great interest. This theory enunciated by Brehm defines situations in which extraneous norms, suggestions and statements are automatically rejected, because they are interpreted as a threat to one’s freedom.

• Intransigent people are always on the lookout and are generally very susceptible to comments or behavior from others. They tend to see anything as a threat to their dignity.

• Cognitive conservatism, for its part, characterizes minds that refuse to change their minds, to think differently. These minds demonstrate a clear inability to act flexibly when circumstances call for change.

• Not opening up to others increases the sense of control and security. It is no coincidence that this trend appears in those situations where one clings to one’s ideas, prejudices and stereotypes because one needs the world to remain predictable. Everything that is different from what we think, which challenges our square world, is experienced as a threat to which we must react.

How to deal with intransigent people?

Is it possible to live with someone unable to dialogue? How can we work or reach agreements with uncompromising people?

It sounds difficult, but luckily we have a tool on our side: knowing the origin of their behavior. Go back to the reasons that drive the profiles so problematic. Let us now reflect on some useful strategies for this purpose.

How to live with these profiles

To face chronic intransigence day by day, you need first of all patience and a lot, a lot of calm. Remember that someone who loses his temper becomes an uncompromising person.

On the contrary, you have to show yourself above certain dynamics and one way to achieve this is to demonstrate that you enjoy that mental balance that the other person does not have. In particular:

• Act respectfully, always and in any case. It doesn’t matter how the other person responds: it is essential to be respectful.

• When you have a discussion or dialogue with these people, you have to assume that in most cases we will get nothing. So it might be helpful not to be obsessed with trying to convince them.

• Instead of arguing, get them to make as many arguments as possible about what they are talking about. Usually the positions of the uncompromising person are based only on his beliefs. Sooner or later it will be easy to contradict them.

• Avoid putting yourself on the same level as them. It is important to show that you have excellent control over your emotions.

• Establish precise limits. In the face of disrespect, you have to react assertively, saying for example: “please don’t raise your voice with me”.

• Simply explain the possible effects of uncompromising conduct. Anyone who refuses to come to terms with or respect others will sooner or later suffer consequences. You should let them know.

Conclusions

Some more and some less, we have all had to deal with a personality that tends to assume a closed mentality.

Ultimately, it is about learning to survive all kinds of behavioral “fauna” and uncompromising people are certainly no exception.