Strategies For Educating Responsible People
Knowing what to do and what not to do at all times is something we have all learned throughout our lives. The human being lives in a condition of perennial learning, nevertheless it is during childhood that the foundations of education and personality are established. That is the moment in which the seed is planted on which, tomorrow, we will grow. A solid foundation of security, self-confidence, and a sense of responsibility will shape those branches allowing us to achieve happiness.
Being in control of one’s life and actions, knowing the limits and giving weight to our abilities, is certainly a value that all parents would like to pass on to their children. But how to do it?
Sometimes, it happens to make the mistake of being overprotective with their children: we think that by constantly helping them, always standing by and doing things for them, we simply show affection towards them. But our mission is to educate people for tomorrow, people who are independent and mature and who know how to get by on their own. Being aware of this and understanding how to do it is essential to make our children happier.
Education starts from birth
The sense of responsibility is one of the most important virtues of human development; it is the most correct way to keep our life under control. It makes absolutely no sense to start inculcating this dimension in children at 5 or 6 years of age: the sense of responsibility must be developed already in the first months and in the first years of life. Tell them what they can touch and what not, that the toys must be tidied up after the playful moment, that they cannot raise their voices with the grown-ups, that the clothes must be put in the closet and that the backpack must be ready for the next morning. These are little things that we can show our children from the moment they begin to relate to the environment around them.
The need to establish clear rules
Our home and our school are clear examples of society; we all know that there are rules, obligations and rights in society. Establishing limits is a vital necessity, because in this way the child will learn from an early age what is expected of him at all times. Living in uncertainty does not give security. If one day we punish him for not tidying up his room and the next day we don’t insist on punishment, surely the child will not take our rules seriously and will not feel guilty for breaking them, as sometimes he is punished and other times no.
The rules must be clear and stable at the same time. Once the child has learned them, they will become a habit, an integral part of him. The purpose of the rules is that they are understood and respected; although they are an imposition, they must always be logical. “I understand that when I get home I have to do my homework first, to then have free time to play and watch TV.” In short, all the norms we establish for children must be understood by them. Imposition will never be welcome, but if the rules are accompanied by good communication and learned from a democratic perspective, this will be a point in your favor.
Democratic education
We named it right above. The need to establish norms and limits is crucial, and so is the need to keep them consistent over time. However, a rule is not a sanction, making a bed is not a punishment, and getting up early for school either. There are those who think that all actions that children do well should be rewarded, but the main purpose is for children to understand that being responsible for their affairs and actions does not have to require a reward.
The reward must be internal: they themselves must understand that they are doing things right. How can this be done? Instead of using rewards, use positive ratings. Saying, for example, “I’m proud of you” is the greatest recognition you can give your child.
When children do something wrong or show unresponsive behavior, it is not advisable to use too severe punishment. Continue to use democratic education: you must teach them how they can improve, reason with them before imposing a punishment, make them understand that their behavior must be more correct. The more sense of responsibility they show, the more we can grant them rights and opportunities.
Being responsible is a sign of maturity and this is undoubtedly the core of parents’ aspirations: to raise responsible, independent and mature children, so that they can integrate perfectly into society, living happily in a world that they understand and where they know how to get by.
