Living With Toxic People

Toxic people are capable of turning off enthusiasm and spreading negativity. Living with them is not easy, but some strategies can help us. In this article, psychologist Miguel Ángel Rizaldos explains some of the most effective strategies.
Living with toxic people

Today, we often find ourselves having to live with toxic people. But what exactly does this term mean? From the point of view of psychology, toxic people are those who intentionally hurt us.

There are different levels and intensities of toxicity. For example, there are people who have behaviors that annoy and others who “infect” us with their toxicity. Finally, there are also people who destroy us emotionally.

In fact, we can all have relationships to a greater or lesser extent with people who have toxic or harmful behaviors. This is the case of a jealous partner, parents who tend to control everything or envious colleagues.

However, even people who did not initially play a toxic role for us can end up taking on the role of toxic people, especially in environments that are toxic per se. We must not forget that emotions and behaviors are contagious, both positive and negative.

These situations are very common in work environments, where there can be excessive pressure and expectations towards workers. Toxic people generate a tense atmosphere that ends up, in one way or another, negatively affecting all colleagues.

People discussing at a business meeting.

How to recognize a toxic person

People who have toxic behaviors have the following characteristics and ways of acting:

  • Manipulators. Their strength is to exploit the vulnerability of others.
  • Rancorous. They always remember and blame for events that took place in the past.
  • Envious. Their attention is focused on what they do not have and what others have. To feel better, they mistakenly despise those who have what they want.
  • Tyrants. They tend to give orders and command to compensate for their insecurity and low self-esteem.
  • They make the victims. They perfectly play the role of victim. They complain all the time and blame others for their shortcomings.

How to carry on a relationship and live with toxic people?

Sometimes we have no choice but to live with a toxic person. In these cases, you need to adopt certain strategies and have a healthy self-esteem.

Toxic people are, in fact, adept at creating certain situations and arousing negative feelings. Therefore, we must be prepared.

These people receive the nickname of “toxic” because they cause a negative emotional overload in those who have to live and interact with them. In many cases, this happens in the workplace, but also in the family or couple.

If you can end the relationship with a toxic person, do it. The ideal is to end the relationship to limit the damage. Unfortunately, it is not always possible or perhaps you are not willing to eliminate that person from your life.

In this case, you can try to change his behavior towards yourself. You will only be able to achieve your goal if the toxic person wants help and is able to recognize the harm done by their toxic attitudes and behaviors.

One strategy is to connect with his “healthy” side so that he understands that his behavior negatively affects the people around him / her. If the toxic person understands and is committed to change, it is important that you support them when they recognize that their behavior is toxic.

Couple having an argument.

Strategies for dealing with and living with toxic people

The basic premise for living with toxic people is setting limits. You must never stop defending your rights, making yourself respected and making people understand how far they can go. Otherwise, toxic people will increase their strength at the expense of your vulnerability.

The most effective tool for not getting “intoxicated” is to love yourself and value yourself. This will help you set boundaries and avoid being influenced by toxic comments and behaviors.

How to neutralize toxicity and not get intoxicated

When dealing with toxic people, you must avoid any confrontation and always resort to assertiveness. This involves empathizing with the other person and trying to empathize with you.

It is important to find alternative solutions to the conflict. You will need to make the person understand that some of their behaviors hurt you. In this way, he will be able to reflect on the consequences of his actions.

Finally, if you live with a toxic person, don’t forget to stand up for your rights and set limits. If you don’t, its strength will increase at the expense of your safety.

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