Independence In The Couple: 5 Basic Rules

It is often led to think that life as a couple requires you to spend a good part of your time with your partner. There are actually many other ways of conceiving the relationship. Many times, independence in the couple is the key to a healthy and lasting relationship.

Living anchored to your partner can be harmful. Acting in this way can lead to feeling saturated, suffocated and often not having personal plans to implement. Maintaining a certain independence in the couple allows us to enjoy the time to dedicate to ourselves, a space in which to reflect and experience peace on a personal and professional level.

On the other hand, it is also important to learn to control one’s ego so as not to influence the couple’s relationship too much and therefore avoid putting one’s personal ambitions and desires in the foreground compared to those of the partner. Well, all of this can be difficult if you are used to sharing all the time with your partner, as the other may feel compelled to participate in activities that they do not like.

Independence in the couple: why it is important

Often the lack of independence in the couple is linked to excessive emotional dependence. If you are unable to cultivate and maintain a good dose of independence, you risk arriving at a situation where you believe you are unable to do anything without your partner, thus relegating yourself to a dangerous comfort zone.

Well, to mature on a personal level and give the relationship the right value, it is important to dedicate some time to yourself, go out with your friends or have other projects. But this is only possible if there is a good level of interdependence in the couple.

In short, independence in the couple allows us to enjoy life and to  give the right value to the time spent with the partner. On the other hand, it is also useful for learning to manage jealousy and a sense of possession.

How to maintain independence in the couple

To enjoy a healthier relationship, here are some tips to help you achieve a good level of independence:

1. Accept yourself to accept the other

Practicing a little introspection is essential to learn to love and value yourself and, by extension, to appreciate your partner more. It will allow us to establish better relationships with friends and family as well.

Secondly, we need to be aware of what differentiates us from others, such as personal tastes, opinions or hobbies. Valuing the traits that define our personality will help us understand that it is not necessary to adapt our tastes to those of those around us.

2. Talk to your partner

Another important aspect is to talk to your partner about the need for more space and independence.

In this way, it will be possible to make him understand that spending some time apart is, in fact, also good for the relationship and that there is nothing wrong with that. Because healthy growth on an individual level also has positive effects on the relationship.

3. Be honest

When spending time without your partner, it is vital to maintain open and sincere communication. In this way, it will be easier to avoid misunderstandings, doubts or even difficulties related to jealousy.

This does not mean that we must continually give explanations to the partner about everything we do, but neither should we hide important facts or keep secrets that could compromise the couple’s relationship.

4. Maintain your own individual space

Giving value to one’s personal dimension is a positive fact both for the relationship and for oneself. Going for a walk, seeing that movie we love so much, reading, playing sports or engaging in an activity we love are all important moments that contribute to well-being. If we leave all these things behind, sooner or later we will start missing, which could make us restless.

These little pleasures allow you to build your own private corner in which to take refuge to experience a little peace and relaxation.

5. Establish healthy limits, the foundation of independence in the couple

Limits protect our personal space. It is therefore essential to clarify which partner behaviors we find negative, offensive or invasive. Likewise, we will have to respect his tastes, values, beliefs and feelings.

Of course, taking time to yourself is essential to living a long and satisfying life. It allows you to grow significantly both personally and professionally and to cultivate a richer and more fruitful social life.